Since 1997, I have been documenting and SCIENTIFICALLY analyzing cloud formations that CLEARLY resemble famous celebrities! This is NOT a coincidence!!! My research proves that celebrities' ENERGY patterns affect our atmosphere!!
I have spent 9,287 hours looking at the sky. My wife left me in 2018 but these clouds UNDERSTAND me. Sometimes I hear them whispering celebrity gossip when the wind blows just right.
~~~TOP CELEBRITY CLOUD SIGHTINGS~~~
| Celebrity | Cloud Image | Resemblance Rating | Psychic Energy Level | Personal Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Brad Pitt | 9.7/10 | EXTREMELY HIGH (87.2 MHz) | This Brad cloud followed me for 3.2 miles on 07/12/2022. I felt he was trying to tell me about his NEW movie script!!! | |
| Oprah Winfrey | 8.9/10 | SPIRITUALLY ELEVATED (92.5 MHz) | Oprah cloud appeared right after I lost my job! I KNOW she was giving me a car but it evaporated before I could claim it! | |
| Tom Cruise | 10/10 | DANGEROUSLY INTENSE (103.6 MHz) | This Tom cloud did its own stunts by transforming into 3 different shapes in 5 minutes!!! I have PROOF that he controls thunderstorms!!! | |
| Beyoncé | 9.9/10 | MELODICALLY SUPERIOR (98.7 MHz) | When this cloud formed, I SWEAR I heard "Single Ladies" playing from my neighbor's house. COINCIDENCE??? I think NOT!!! | |
| Nicolas Cage | 11/10 | COSMIC CHAOS (∞ MHz) | This cloud appeared 17 DIFFERENT TIMES in one month!!! Nicolas, if you're reading this, PLEASE STOP following me!!! |
~~~SCIENTIFIC CLOUD-CELEBRITY CORRELATION INDEX~~~
Using my revolutionary CELEBRITY ATMOSPHERIC PRESENCE DETECTOR (CAPD™), I've determined the following IRREFUTABLE scientific correlations:
- Cumulus clouds = A-list movie stars (86% correlation)
- Cirrus clouds = Pop musicians (92% correlation)
- Stratus clouds = Reality TV stars (65% correlation, they're less powerful)
- Cumulonimbus = Controversial celebrities (98.7% correlation - THEY CONTROL LIGHTNING!!!)
Last Tuesday, I saw a cloud that looked EXACTLY like Leonardo DiCaprio eating a sandwich. I have not eaten a sandwich since then because I feel we are now SPIRITUALLY CONNECTED.
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