NONEXISTENT MOVIE DATABASE

MY VHS COPY OF THIS MOVIE SEEMS BROKEN??? I've watched it 4 times now and each time I swear the coffee mug in the breakfast scene gets bigger. I measured it with a ruler against my TV screen and I KNOW I'm right. My wife says I'm being ridiculous but I KNOW what I saw. Anyone else notice this phenomenon???? 5/5 stars, can't stop watching.

Schaeffer's masterpiece of temporal discontinuity perfectly captures the existential dread of corporate America. The subtle enlargement of everyday objects (particularly the stapler, which increases by exactly 1.7% each "day") serves as a brilliant metaphor for the growing weight of capitalist expectations. Note that viewers who watch the film on a Tuesday report significantly higher anxiety levels for up to 3 weeks afterward. NOT RECOMMENDED FOR OFFICE WORKERS.

I watched this movie the night before my final dental anatomy exam and I FAILED. The anatomically correct molars in the climactic extraction scene have ruined actual teeth for me forever. I can now only see teeth as potential receivers of interdimensional signals. My professor says this is "concerning" but I know the truth now. When patient #7 says "the molars know when the others are coming," I felt that in my core. My own fillings vibrated during the movie. 2/5 stars because I no longer want to be a dentist.

Finally tracked down a VHS copy after searching for YEARS. The infamous "wisdom tooth transmission" scene was actually LONGER than in the theatrical cut - nearly 7 minutes of uninterrupted dental drilling while overlapping voices whisper coordinates. I wrote them all down and they point to a location in the Pacific Ocean. I've contacted several oceanographic institutes but they all stopped responding to my letters. Also, does anyone else taste metal when the Patient #7 smiles in the third act? 5/5 stars, life-changing.

Herzog's forgotten masterpiece deserves wider recognition. I've watched it 13 times and each viewing reveals new details in the background of the window scenes. On my last viewing, I noticed a calendar in young Stern's apartment showing October 1994 - THE EXACT MONTH I WAS WATCHING THE FILM. When I looked up from my VCR to my own apartment window, I briefly saw a figure that looked disturbingly like an older version of myself looking in. I have since covered all windows in my home with aluminum foil. 5/5 stars for literally altering my perception of reality.

Has anyone else noticed that the reflection of the clock in the old window is ALWAYS showing 3:17, regardless of the actual time in the scene? I've mapped every appearance of the clock and created a complex geometric pattern that, when overlaid on a map of central Europe, perfectly aligns with sites of unexplained temporal anomalies reported between 1976-1996. Also, the scene where older Stern attempts to write messages backward for his younger self to read contains an encoded warning about events set to occur in March 2027. 4/5 stars, deducted one star because my dreams are now chronologically non-linear.

I worked at a bakery when this movie came out and had to quit my job. The scene where Breadman absorbs the entire wedding cake by merging with it made me physically ill. I can never look at rising dough the same way again. Do NOT watch this while eating any wheat products. The sound design during the transformation scenes—all those squishing and bubbling noises—haunts my dreams. I've been gluten-free since seeing this film. 1/5 stars, too traumatizing.

The most UNDERRATED Burton film! The metaphor of a man literally becoming what he creates is brilliant. My local video store's copy has a weird mold growing on the tape case that smells exactly like sourdough. The clerk says it's the only tape in the store with this issue, even after multiple replacements of the case. After my 7th viewing, I noticed what appears to be breadcrumbs coming out of my VCR, though no one else in my family sees them. The scene where Harold kneads his own arm back on after the accident makes me hungry in a way I don't want to examine too closely. 5/5 stars, absolutely delicious filmmaking.

As an audio engineer, I can confirm that the acoustic principles in this film are IMPOSSIBLE, yet my own experiments since watching have yielded...concerning results. I recorded silence in my bathroom for 24 hours, then amplified and filtered the recording. At exactly the 17:34:12 mark, there's clearly audible speech that I've now played for multiple colleagues who all hear different words. I've written to Kubrick three times but received no response. My wife says the bathroom is now off-limits after 9pm because "the tiles are listening." 4/5 stars, would be 5 but my home is now acoustically compromised.

I've watched this 26 times with headphones and have documented 158 distinct background voices that are NOT listed in the credits or accounted for in the script. The scene at 1:22:47 where Dr. Reeves sits alone in the chamber contains whispers that, when isolated and reversed, contain MY FULL NAME AND ADDRESS despite this film being made when I was 7 years old and living in another country. I've mapped the architectural specifications of the chamber and discovered it's mathematically equivalent to the inside of a human ear canal scaled up 212 times. 5/5 stars, but I now live in a completely soundproofed apartment.

DO NOT PAUSE THIS MOVIE AT 1:14:22. I repeat, DO NOT PAUSE at the moment when the main character's monitor displays the "escape routine" code. I did this on my VHS copy and my TV started displaying strange pixel patterns even AFTER I ejected the tape. Had to unplug the set for 48 hours to reset it. When I turned it back on, all faces on any channel had subtle pixel distortions around the eyes. My Sega Genesis also stopped working the same day. Coincidence? 3/5 stars, technically impressive but possibly dangerous to home electronics.

After watching this film, I disconnected all my electronics for a week. The scene where pixels start emerging from the monitor as tiny, insect-like entities that reassemble into the game character gave me SEVERE technophobia. I've since noticed that when I take photos with my Polaroid camera, sometimes there are extra pixels in the dark areas that appear to move when viewed peripherally. The ASCII face that briefly appears at 0:56:17 has shown up in my Windows 95 startup sequence TWICE now. I've reinstalled the OS but it keeps happening. 5/5 stars for ruining technology for me forever. Would give zero stars if possible.

I was a line cook when this film released and it RUINED my career. I cannot prepare salads anymore. The sequence where Raymond finds his childhood photographs inside a cherry tomato gave me recurring nightmares. I've tried to recreate the diner's house dressing recipe 37 times and each batch tastes like a different, indescribable flavor. My local VHS rental place claims I've never returned their copy despite me having the receipt proving I did. Every time I go back, they have a new copy on the shelf. 2/5 stars, avoid watching if you work in food service.

Jarmusch's meditation on infinity and consumption is grossly underappreciated. I've watched this 9 times and noticed the salad ingredients appear in a Fibonacci sequence until the 87-minute mark, when they begin appearing in reverse chronological order of their agricultural domestication. The sound design subtly includes the noise of a fork scraping porcelain even during scenes with no salad present. After my last viewing, I found an arugula leaf inside my sealed VHS case, though I haven't purchased greens in months. 5/5 stars, pairs well with actual salad consumption during viewing, though appetite loss may occur at the watch/keys/baby tooth sequence.